My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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