So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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