do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
