there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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