Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He better not be in your backpack
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
