Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
