This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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