Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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