What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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