Well apparently he's into motor boating.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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