My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
