dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
