I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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