I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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