drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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