I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
