Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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