Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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