glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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