i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
