Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
