I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
