So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
