So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
