Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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