i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
