Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
