My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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