By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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