its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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