Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
