If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
