i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
