He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
