I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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