i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
