worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
