I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
soo... how was my night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
