I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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