Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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