I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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