Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
