ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
