I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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