He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We have started to decorate penises.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
