Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
