I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
