It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
