shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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