Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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