i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
